Orgasm Denial/Control/On Demand

Orgasm Denial/Control/On Demand
by baby

I'd like to take a few moments to contemplate orgasm training.  Specifically, orgasm control, orgasm denial, and orgasm on demand.  These three areas are a cornerstone of the training of a submissive male, and I believe once mastered, form a rock-solid foundation for the male's submissiveness and absolute devotion to his Mistress.


Submission is a gift from the submissive to the dominant partner, and requires complete trust in the dominant partner.  A submissive must trust the dominant partner completely, and must trust the dominant partner to have the submissive's best interests at heart.  That having been said, perhaps the ultimate expression of submissiveness to his Mistress is giving Her total control over his orgasms, which are the one single area where a man's maleness is completely, well.....male.  It is often the male's primary driver...hence the phrase "He's thinking with the wrong head!"  When a male gets horny, oftentimes rational thought goes out the window.  When a man submits to his woman, he trusts her to control his orgasms as a sign of his complete devotion to Her, knowing that She will accept this gift with all the love he has put into it, and will reward him with them with the same love.  Each one will be special, and none will be wasted.  But to ensure this, he must be denied most of the time.  If a man is permitted to orgasm whenever he wishes, he begins taking them for granted and, indeed, submission should be about the pleasure and service of his Mistress, not about his own pleasure and needs.  The truly submissive male must learn to separate his own wants and needs from those of his Mistress.  He should always strive to pleasure Her, to whatever extent She desires, but he must NEVER EVER expect the same from Her.  He must trust that She will reward him enough that every orgasm is special, a moment to be cherished forever, a moment in which he is allowed to give his Mistress his very essence.  And She must remember that a submissive man is often a needy man, so She must be certain She is not too stingy with them.

This means that most of the time, She must deny him.  As Mistress, She has the right to Her own orgasms.  As slave, he does not.  As slave, he must expect the opposite, that She will use him until She is satisfied, and then dismiss him.  This is not cruelty.  Many  people would believe that it is, but this denial is based in love.  She does this because he wants it.  She may use it to test him, test his devotion.  She may deny him for a week, or two weeks, or a month, or six months, or a year, or longer.....but She must always keep his well-being in mind as well.  Long term denial must never be used as punishment.  This may cause resentment.  Both the slave and the Mistress must agree how long to go.  Forced chastity may be a great male fantasy, but it's not a good idea in reality.  For myself, I've gone a week before, and that was very difficult, but I'm willing to go as long as Mommie decides.  I'm willing because my love is deep enough to sustain me.  And I want Her control over me to be total.  I want to experience a full-on TPE 24/7 relationship.  And this is a major part of it.

I also want to be trained to control my orgasms for Her.  This would be a great skill to have when in orgasm denial.  It takes a special kind of lover to make love to his Mistress and satisfy Her through intercourse as long and as often as She wants, WITHOUT CUMMING!  Again, this is something I want, as a sign of my submissiveness, to be able to see to Her needs and wants without tying them to my own.

And finally, the elusive Holy Grail of orgasm control, being able to cum on demand.  Much more difficult to train a male to do this than a female, it is still nevertheless very rare for both males and females.  It's a long process, that works by conditioning.  Through orgasm denial, and the selective granting of orgasms in connection with a specific word to be used as a trigger, the orgasm is linked to the word, and when and if the training is successful, the slave will be able to orgasm simply by hearing his Mistress say the trigger word, without being touched at all.  But it takes a long time, and is often unsuccessful because of one of many factors, including the difference in individual response, the effectiveness or ineffectiveness of the Mistress's training, etc.  To me, this would be the height of submissiveness, to be able to orgasm simply by hearing your Mistress's voice, instantly and without stimulation.  And even if success in this instance is never achieved, I'm certain it would be the most fun, sexually, that a loving couple could have.

Just some thoughts......